Every time someone brings up the amusing "two scoops" standard pertaining to this nation's preznit, I flash right back to 1954 and "The Caine Mutiny," the excellent film version of Herman Wouk's great novel and Pulitzer Prize winning play.
The two-scoops standard originally was reported by Time magazine in May. It seems that White House staff serving our commander-in-brief are duty bound to ensure he gets two scoops of ice cream whenever they serve his happy-joy dessert of chocolate cream pie. However, according to Time, guests and family around the White House dining table get just one scoop. Because, apparently, our preznit is a scoop above everyone else and wants everyone to notice.
Return with me to "The Caine Mutiny," a psychological study in which, at one point, World War II Navy Captain Queeg (played in the film by an exquisitely nervous Humphrey Bogart) receives a rare gift from another ship's captain: a large tin of strawberries. The officers of the U.S.S. Caine enjoy the treat at Queeg's dinner table, but while each of them gets one scoop of berries, the captain gets two; could actually have been three.
The similarities between the fictional naval officer and the anti-maven living in today's White House do not, however, end there.
Later that same night, Capt. Queeg gets out of his bunk and goes down to the galley seeking yet more strawberries, but finds none. This sets him off. Queeg has been losing self-control and the respect of his men ever since he took command and made some early, embarrassing mistakes. He awakens the entire crew and orders them to waste hours turning over the ship, looking for evidence regarding the missing strawberries. Eventually, he develops an elaborate and (we learn later) erroneous theory that crewmen secretly copied keys to the larder.
I don't suppose I'm the first Herman Wouk fan to notice that our nation's current commander-in-brief not only insists on two scoops of dessert while offering his dining guests one scoop but also has expressed some bizarre, conspiratorial ideas of his own.
Trump expends great energy trying to explain in short tweets how, in his mind, politics, elections and governing really work. He toils and spins with special fervor insisting that it's his predecessor's fault that X or Y is happening, or that the actions of his own campaign staff in sucking up to the Russians were nothing compared to the (unknown, imaginary) skullduggery between the Democratic nominee and Moscow. Why isn't anyone investigating THAT?
"Not a puppet!" he interrupted his opponent at one of last year's debates. "You're the puppet!" And so for the next four years, perhaps, he assured himself a taxpayer-financed second scoop, whenever he likes. By the time he's done he perhaps will have scooped out the entire democracy.
As did Queeg, Trump concocts bizarre ideas to explain things he doesn't or want to understand and to save face when his claims and complaints don't pan out. In the case of the fictional captain, it was "the strawberry business" that led toward mutiny.
In the case of the unbelievable president, it's the Russian business, the vote-fraud business, the Democratic-obstructionist business, and the fake-news business. And in giving us the business on all of this, he could lead the world closer to raging climate change, along with political and economic destabilization. Oh, and maybe even another world war.
The big difference is that, in "The Caine Mutiny," the crewmen and not the captain faced court martial. In today's White House, however, it's the commander-in-brief *and* his crew who may end up facing impeachment or indictment -- but not before he disses more and more minions in order to mask his own insecurities, inadequacies, and mistakes.
That's the scoop from my keyboard, but there are second, third and possibly endless helpings to come. After all, revenge is a dish of ice cream best served cold.